Crack #3: Low Commitment
Time reveals our priorities. What happens if you realize that your marriage isn’t as high a priority as you thought it was? Here’s your chance to renew your commitments and realign your priorities.
Transcript
So… our house has a crack in the wall. I have a few options.
I can ignore it. That’s what we did when we moved in 6 years ago. Not only is it still here; it’s worse.
I can patch it. Put a little spackle over it, and voila. It’s gone. But this is just a short-term fix. It’s likely gonna come back.
I can repair it. This would mean doing some harder work. Maybe cutting out the drywall, reinforcing the studs. It’ll be hard, but it’ll last.
I can ignore it, patch it, or repair it.
Relationships are kinda like that. And because of COVID, we’re seeing cracks in our relationships like never before.
Ya see, stress reveals cracks. Stress doesn’t really create cracks; it reveals them. It brings to the surface the weaknesses that already exist. That’s what happened to all of us last year—stress revealed cracks.
I was reading an article in a magazine that described this phenomenon perfectly. Here’s what one guy said, “Too much togetherness, a lack of personal space and the inability to do normal activities, like going to the gym, were damaging. It just magnified the problems that we had because we couldn't spend any time away from each other.”
Can you relate? Did any cracks show up in your relationships this past year? I’m guessing… yes. Think about one of those cracks right now. Do you have it in your head? Ha! You’re a crack-head. No, I’m just kidding. [Cocaine addiction is a serious issue, and there is help for you.]
Now, back to your crack. What did you do with it? You have the same three choices I have with my wall: ignore it, patch it, or repair it.
What does that look like? I’m going to use anger as an example. Because I know noooobody here deals with anger.
Ignore It – Minimize or deny it. Make excuses. Blame the other person.
Patch It – Apologize & move on. Promise you’ll do better next time.
Repair It – Understand your anger, explore how your family expressed anger, learn better coping mechanisms.
What do you do? The theme of this whole series is this: Repair your cracks before they become canyons. Because cracks grow. They never simply stay the same. Repair your cracks before they become canyons. We implore you. Because dealing with a crack in your relationship is so much easier that dealing with a canyon.
Did you know that the Bible contains an amazing image of the damage that’s done when cracks become canyons?
But I’m guessing that you don’t been any help imagining this. You’ve probably seen friends’ or family members’ relationships fall apart because of dysfunctional canyons. Maybe you’ve even lived through one yourself.
But what the Bible also includes, that you might not have seen before, is hope—a picture of redemption, of healing. And isn’t that what all of us want in our relationships?
For this, we’re going to turn to Isaiah, chapter 30. This is part of a larger section where God is giving judgment over Israel and Judah for their turning away from God and relying on wealth and other nations for power and protection.
God begins the chapter with this line: “1 Woe to the obstinate children,” declares the Lord… Then he describes Israel’s rebellion, deceit, and unholy alliances. By now, in Old Testament history, their cracks of disobedience have turned into all out canyons. And by verse 12, God explains to the Israelites what happens when cracks become canyons.
“12 Therefore this is what the Holy One of Israel says: “Because you have rejected this message, relied on oppression and depended on deceit, 13 this sin will become for you like a high wall, cracked and bulging, that collapses suddenly, in an instant. 14 It will break in pieces like pottery, shattered so mercilessly that among its pieces not a fragment will be found for taking coals from a hearth or scooping water out of a cistern.”
That is tragic—not just break apart, but shatter mercilessly. That’s the prophecy God gives to Israel if they continue to walk in disobedience. And it’s the same prophecy He gives to your relationships when you let your cracks become canyons.
Then God starts to paint a picture of what redemption could look like in verse 15: “15 This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.”
Ya see, Israel wants to continue in its stubbornness, just like some of you. God even tells them, “You can have salvation. You can have strength.” But you won’t have any of it because of your stubbornness and rebellion.
But… a few verses down, it says this: 18 Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!
Then he gives an amazing promise: 19 People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.
People of RiverLife, cry out to God for help and you will weep no more. As soon as he hears, he will answer you. Admit your cracks. Don’t ignore them. Don’t cover them up. Cry out to God for help. As soon as he hears, he will answer you.
Then, a few verses down, Isaiah gives an amazing picture of what will happen when you do this. “26 The moon will shine like the sun, and the sunlight will be seven times brighter, like the light of seven full days, when the Lord binds up the bruises of his people and heals the wounds he inflicted.”
Isn’t that what you want for your marriage, for yourself? That is what God is offering you today.
Repair your cracks before they become canyons. Allow the light of God’s healing hand into those dark places in your life and in your relationships.
I want to close by addressing an emotion that some of you might be feeling right now: I just can’t. It’s too hard, too painful. I’m scared. What if my marriage is too far gone? What if I’m just too broken?
To answer that, I’ll leave you with some lyrics from a song called “Wounds” by Jordan Feliz:
Would you believe me if I said you're not beyond repair?
Would you believe me if I told you that I've been right there?
I've seen the light come in
To my darkest rooms
I can tell you, friend
That His love heals wounds
Look into my heart
Let it be the proof
I'm only standing here
'Cause His love heals wounds
God heals wounds. God repairs cracks. Even yours.
