Simple Rhythms: Solitude
The practice of embracing silence offers us space to let go of the busyness and chaos so we can enter a place of quietness and contemplation. It is a deliberate turning away from the noise of the world and a turning toward the voice of God, where we can be attentive to him.
INTRO
Good morning.
This morning, our simple rhythm that we’re going to look at is the spiritual exercise of solitude.
John Mark Comer, a teacher of spiritual formation has a resource called “Practicing the Way” and he defines solitude like this.
“The practice of solitude is intentional time in the quiet with ourselves and God.”
Solitude involves being silent and still, which sounds easy, but is quite challenging.
Think of the last time you sat in a room with another person and the conversation dies down and the awkward silence slides in.
You start to feel the tension of wanting to fill that space with something else.
Maybe you crack a joke to try to relieve the uncomfortable feeling of silence.
Maybe you reach for your phone or excuse yourself to the bathroom.
Maybe you begin to worry about what the person thinks of you.
Silence and stillness cause a lot of things to surface, but we currently live in a time where it’s easy for us to distract ourselves from the discomfort.
In 2015, Microsoft conducted a study discovering that that the average attention span of a person is 8-seconds, which is a second less than a goldfish.
They suggest it’s a result of our mobile devices and ability to constantly stay connected through the internet.
Today, Americans spend an average of 4.5 hours each day on their phones.
Across a 7-day week, that’s 31 hours, which means we spend more than an entire day on our phones on a weekly basis.
I’m guilty of this too and tried to justify it by saying that I do work on my phone, but really, my phone usage is primarily spent on three things:
Royal Match, Facebook, and YouTube.
Now, I’m not saying ban our phones and devices.
I believe they serve wonderful purposes, but we need to consider what we can do to help us focus on God.
And that’s where solitude comes in.
Throughout church history, solitude has helped mold the church’s spirituality.
It was a rhythm Jesus practiced throughout his time on earth.
In the gospels, there are 9 times where we’re informed that Jesus retreats into the wilderness to pray.
Notably, Luke 5:16 tells us that “Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”
In the 4th century, Christianity was legalized, and believers didn’t have to worry about being persecuted anymore, but cultural and worldly influences crept into the church and corrupted it.
This caused believers to retreat into the desert stripping themselves of anything materialistic and distracting. They pursued a simple life solely focused on God.
They devoted themselves to prayer, singing psalms, fasting, and providing for the needy.
This movement is referred to as the Desert Fathers and Mothers, which led to an era of monasteries being built. And monasteries served as a place for people to become closer to God.
And while this might have been easy for 4th century Christians who didn’t have iPhones and Androids to deal with, but I think it’s worth us exploring to find principles we can use when our world is full of distractions that take away us from God.
Solitude vs. Me time
The goal of solitude is to be alone with God by eliminating distractions so that we can grow deeper with Him by listening and hearing him in the silence and stillness.
Now, if you’re an introvert like me you might be pumping your fist in excitement.
I like silence.
I like my time alone.
I like my me-time.
But solitude is different.
Being alone and being in solitude are two different things.
In my alone time, I’ll watch videos, play games, scroll the internet, listen to music.
In my alone time I am still very connected.
Solitude requires us to disconnect and be present with silence and stillness and most importantly, with God.
Two Ingredients for Solitude: Silence and Stillness
We have to be silent and disconnect from the exterior and interior noise so we can hear God.
Exterior noises are the noises outside of us like the TV, music on our speakers or headphones, and the notifications on our phone.
Interior noise are the inner thoughts, worries, and emotions in our hearts and mind.
These are harder to silence.
But solitude requires us to turn off these noises.
We also have to be still.
Stillness is a place where all the noise settles down and we are aware of what is presently happening.
We simply wait to listen to God.
If prayer is communicating with God, solitude is listening to God.
Henri Nouwen says this,
“Without solitude it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life…We do not take the spiritual life seriously if we do not set aside time to be with God and listen to him.”
And a great example of this comes from Genesis 32:22-32, our scripture reading from earlier.
Let me provide some context to the story and show us what solitude can do to us.
Genesis 32: Jacob Receives a Blessing While in Solitude
In Genesis 32, we learn about Jacob wrestling with a divine being, but before this whole situation, Jacob has an older twin brother named Esau.
From birth, Jacob constantly tried to find a way to get ahead of others by trying to be better than them by any means necessary.
Jacob grabbed onto Esau’s heel desperately trying to come out of the womb before Esau to be the oldest.
The name, Jacob, translates into deceiver or heel-catcher.
Think of a heel-catcher is someone who tries to get what they want at whatever the cost even it means cheating. Jacob’s desire to be the oldest leads him to take advantage of his father’s blindness to receive his older brother’s blessing.
In Genesis 27, Jacob and Esau’s father, Isaac, wants to bless Esau.
Jacob ends up impersonating his brother and steals the blessing from Esau.
Esau was outraged and sought revenge by wanting to kill Jacob, but Jacob fled.
The rest of Jacob’s life was spent trying to outsmart and outwit others until he had to return home and face his brother.
For many years, Jacob avoided Esau, but when he finally wasn’t able to, he decided to send a peace offering of livestock to help create cushion before they meet.
On the eve of meeting his brother, Jacob sent his family across the stream and spent the evening alone.
In his time of solitude, he experienced a divine encounter and wrestles God.
Jacob knew it wasn’t an ordinary opponent, but it was someone who could bless him, so he wrestles God all night long.
Again, this moment is symbolic of Jacob’s entire life.
Jacob wrestled with whoever plotting to get his way at whatever the cost, but in this case, he is unable to win against God.
In fact, God beats Jacob by touching his hip causing Jacob to become helpless.
Jacob finally realizes his defeat.
Unable to plot a way to win, he is still persistent and ask God to bless him.
But before God blesses Jacob, he asks for Jacob’s name.
In the moment of loss and humiliation, not only does Jacob lose the match, but he has to admit that his name means deceiver and more important he has been dishonest with his ways to get what he wants.
He has to admit to God that he has plotted and deceived his way to the top.
But after Jacob admits his fault, God gives him a new name and blesses him signifying a new identity and purpose.
Like Jacob, when we engage in solitude, that’s what happens to us.
In solitude, we sit in silence and stillness focused on God listening to him examining and wrestling with our struggles so that he can transform us.
Henri Nouwen offers this perspective.
This is what he says,
“Solitude is…the place of conversion, the place where the old self dies and the new self is born, the place where the emergence of the new man and the new woman occurs. … In solitude I get rid of my scaffolding. I have no friends to talk with, no telephone calls to make, no meetings to attend, no music to entertain, no books to distract, just me – naked, vulnerable, weak, sinful, deprived, broken – nothing.
It is this nothingness that I have to face in my solitude, a nothingness so dreadful that everything in me wants to run to my friends, my work, my distractions … Solitude is the furnace of transformation … the place of the great struggle and the great encounter — the struggle against the compulsions of the false self, and the encounter with the loving God who offers himself as the substance of the new self.”
In silence and stillness, the unwanted thoughts that make us feel shameful about ourselves will surface making us feel uncomfortable.
We can choose to hide our shortcomings, or we can let God see our flaws and imperfections and if we’re patient enough, God speaks love to us even with all our flaws and imperfections and invites us into transformation.
The only way to pass through the awkwardness is to persevere.
We patiently wait in the quiet and listen for God’s voice.
The goal is to get past these lies is to persevere until the voice of the enemy is defeated by the voice of God.
And while the voice of shame is loud, the voice of God, it is a gentle whisper.
That’s why it’s so important to be silent and still.
It helps us hear.
We’re reminded in 1 Kings 19:12 that God spoke to Elijah in a gentle whisper and called him by name.
Solitude is an essential rhythm we have to turn to in our days filled with distractions so that God can continue to shape us.
APPLICATION
While solitude involves us doing very little, it doesn’t mean it’s it easy.
In fact, it’s probably one of the hardest spiritual practices we can engage in because of the distractions in our lives, but here are a few things we can consider when it comes to practicing solitude.
These ideas come from John Mark Comer’s “Practicing the Way” guide on solitude.
Start by finding a daily rhythm of solitude where you:
Take an undistracted lunch break
Give yourself a 5 to10-minute window of silence and stillness
Track your tech use. Consider setting limits on your phone to help reduce your use.
Go to bed without your phone
Go tech-free an hour before bed
Set aside a morning time of quiet prayer, even for a few minutes, before you check your phone.
On a weekly basis consider:
One day of no phone
Schedule one night of no activities
Schedule an hour of relaxation to connect with God
As you grow in rhythms of solitude consider doing what Jesus did.
Go into the wilderness to and hike, backpack, or camp.
If that’s not you’re thing, maybe take a silent retreat at a monastery or retreat center.
Physically moving away can help eliminate distractions.
And remember that solitude is not loneliness and isolation.
Loneliness and isolation is emptiness and absence.
It’s moving away from relationship.
Solitude is inner fulfillment and moving towards Jesus and it welcomes us to experience Jesus’
Calmness
Slowness
And peace.
Solitude welcomes us to be exposed so we can examine and reflect and hear God’s voice to be transformed and freed from busyness that prevents us from experiencing God’s promise for us.
To find rest for our souls and live life his way.
As we close, I want to invite us into 2-minutes of silence and stillness.
And I’ll pray for us.
[2 minute counter]
Let’s pray.