Who are you? Our identities are complex, intersectional, and often wounded. Discover the power of placing your identity in Christ and how it can make all your other identities the best versions of themselves.

Transcript

I think one of the craziest parts of Hmong culture I learned is that a women’s ability to do things like cook and do choirs around the house is a highly sought value. We even found a way to put a monetary value on it.

Basically, the closer you were to a maid, the higher your value was as a woman.

And Hmong men were judged on a different scale. Being a Hmong man, you were HIGHLY recommended to go into a prestigious career. Hmong parents really wanted their sons to become engineers, lawyers, politicians, or cultural leaders.

And Christian Hmong parents had a similar way of doing this. They wanted their kids to become pastors or doctors. It was more for the honor and prestige than actually helping people.

It is a little more accepting for women to cross into a minor role as a cultural leader. Men, and especially influential men, could never cross the line to become a maid or a servant without being condemned for being too feminine.

And I could remember how this idea of Hmong gender roles played out in my life.

About two years ago, I was part of a youth and college sleepover for church. During this event, I saw that while the college guys were downstairs engaging with the youth, playing games, and leading worship. The college women were rolling Kapiak noodles in the kitchen... And MAN! They rolled them for 3 hours straight. Their hands were all worn out, and flour was all up on their clothes, makeup, and hair.

I felt so bad for them. I looked at them from afar and thought, “Man, not one man is helping them out. How terrible.”...Then I silently crept back to play games with the youth.

Looking back at the youth sleepover, I felt so bad. I asked myself: why didn’t I just help? Because I have seen Jesus humbling himself and becoming a servant. If the God of the universe can come down to serve humanity, why couldn’t I just do a little gesture of kindness? Especially if it aligned with my conscience.

On one end I want to serve like Jesus and be at peace knowing I did what I wanted to do and didn’t just watch from the sideline.

But if I helped them out, I would be condemned for being feminine.

At the end of the day, I just want to be at peace with my conscience and to be free to do what I think is right.

If you were me in this situation and you chose not to help the ladies… I want to say that is okay. They were eventually going to finish with or without me.

But the issue is not whether you should have helped or not. The big issue is whether your cultural identity would have impacted your choice to act in love and to act without being condemned.

We all wrestle with our identity and see how it impacts our lives.

Sometimes, our cultural identity makes us do things we don’t want to do, and we are placed in situations that make us feel stuck.

So what does the Bible say about identity, and how do we find peace and freedom with our identity?

Well, we can learn from what Paul wrote to the Romans. Romans 6:16 states:

Romans 6:16 (NLT): Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living.

So, one thing we have to understand is the Biblical definition of freedom is not the same as how we would describe freedom in America. In American culture, freedom is described as being free to do whatever you want.

This freedom to do whatever we want may seem like freedom, but actually isn’t.

For example, you can be free to do drugs, but that’s not truly free because you are a slave to the drug. Or you could be an actor. Even though it's okay to be an actor, you have to make sacrifices to sustain that identity. But Biblical freedom is about living a life God intended that will bring peace.

Paul shows there is always a price to pay for the identity we choose. And we must be able to see which identity we are choosing.

We are given two identities. One from the world and one from God. Everyday we are given the choice to choose our identity from the world or our identity from God. One that will condemn you and make you restless. And one that will bring you peace and freedom.

There are two reasons why we must embrace the identity of God more than the identity given by the world.

1. The world will demand too much from you

If you want an identity from the world, you have to contribute to the world.

If you do not contribute to the identity of the world, you will be rejected, your social standing may decrease, and it may even harm the people around you.

The identity we get from the world is like a beast that must be constantly fed.

These are imperfect cultural systems that need to be maintained by imperfect people. Or it could be idols that need our worship.

Unless you are a robot without any meaning in life, you will always have to feed into an identity.

Our identity from the world does not want to die so easily, and it needs to be fed to stay alive. You have to contribute to the cause and maintain an image constantly. The instant you do not contribute to this identity, you are condemned.

This can be seen with Hmong funerals. 10 years ago, it was “law” for the sons to buy cows for their father’s funeral. So, if you were like me, who's a third son, you and your brothers had to buy three cows for your dad. This excludes the funeral expenses.

And if you miss even one cow, you will hear it from everyone. Not buying a cow can get so bad that people would consider whether you truly loved your dad.

But even after you have bought your cows and set up the funeral while crying for your dad who just died.

You still have to give more.

Going into debt for the cows and funeral is not enough.

You still have to contribute for the next funeral and the next wedding, which could be next week.

And you have to contribute to the next one after that, and the one after that.

We cannot go on forever contributing to the identity of the world.

We are going to mess up eventually. This can come tomorrow or maybe in 5 minutes.

And it seems like no matter what we do, it's just not enough, and the system is just not satisfied.

When the world needs you to contribute constantly, will you ever be enough? Will the world ever be satisfied for what you contribute? No. But with Jesus you can be. And this leads me to my second point.

2. Our identity from God is not based on our performance

Unlike your identity from the world that needs to be constantly fed and sustained by you... God gives your identity freely through Jesus Christ. When Jesus died on the cross, he paid for all your sins so you don’t have to earn your way to heaven.

Which means:

• You don’t have to sing a special song on Sunday.

• You don’t have to bring the best food to the Thanksgiving potluck.

• You don’t even have to do eggroll fundraisers.

We can see how God treats us in the parable of the prodigal son.

In the story, a younger son asks his father for his share of the inheritance, then leaves home and squanders his wealth in reckless living. When he finds himself in a terrible situation, he decides to return to his father, expecting to be treated no better than a hired servant. However, upon his return, his father welcomes him with open arms, celebrating his return rather than condemning his past actions.

The son's identity is not based on what he did in the past or his attempts to earn back favor, but on the father’s unconditional love and grace to bring him back in.

Similarly, your identity is not based on how much you can contribute, but on what Jesus did on the cross for you.

There is no other worldview that can do that for you.

Not only should we want Jesus, but we cannot live a life without him.

Let me give you a recent example in my life how I almost lost myself to the identity of the world

Growing up, I was told all my life to be something great. So I went into medicine. I was just Navy medic and that was the closest thing for me to become a doctor. But if I couldn’t become a doctor...then I would become...a pastor.

Recently I just finished my master’s program in Christian Leadership. I am also accredited with our denomination, and I can become a pastor tomorrow.

And for years, I told myself that I was going to become a pastor.

But today, I want to let you know that I have chosen not to become a pastor.

I am not becoming a pastor because I saw how the world has distorted my view of what a pastor was, and I was going to bring this distortion to other people.

The world made me believe that the only way to be accepted was to contribute to the church, have a prestigious title, have a wife, and have kids.

And this identity from the world made me idolize titles and organizations more than people.

And it ultimately affected my faith.

It made me feel like I always had to contribute to the next big thing. I had to get the next big title, I had to get more degrees than thermometer, and I just felt like I was never enough.

It was like running on a hamster wheel, and I couldn’t get off.

But I love Jesus because he was able to take me off the hamster wheel.

Unlike the world that only accepted me for what I can contribute and my title, I can be loved by Jesus for being a nobody.

There are many other reasons why I have chosen not to become a pastor.

But the simple answer to my decision is this: I didn’t see the peace and freedom God promised in my life when I embraced this identity.

And maybe you're like me, and you’re knee-deep into an identity that you have been chasing your whole life, and now it is difficult to turn around.

Maybe you’re running on the hamster wheel and still feel you’re not enough.

This relentless pursuit is leading you to question your identity.

A lot of us are wrestling with who we are every day.

So imagine what identity you are giving yourself or what you are chasing.

Now, ask yourself:

• Is my identity condemning me and making me restless?

• Or is it bringing me peace and freedom?

If your identity is not giving you peace and freedom, you are probably a slave to it.

But God promises peace and freedom.

So, place your identity in Jesus first. He wants you to be at peace, and He wants you to be free.

Let’s go to prayer